Fire and Water Dinner

Tonight I went across the street to my neighbor's for a fire and water dinner. I know, I had never heard of it either. Apparently it is a Meredith College tradition. I am now stealing it and making it my own. My sweet, sassy, and beautiful neighbor was celebrating her wedding anniversary sans husband who left her recently after returning from Iraq. She is a Princess Pin, learning the ropes of running her own network.

Eight women, one man, and eight-ish kids. Until dark we ate spaghetti and cupcakes, drank wine, and let kids play. We caught up with some folks and got to know others. When darkness fell we sent the kids in for a movie and got down to business; fire and water, burning and floating. Each person was handed a stack of note cards and a pencil. Write down what you love & want to keep going in your life and write what you want to get rid of. What you want to rid yourself of we burn, what you want to keep going we float.

We then stood around an open grill and burned what we needed to let go of. People read their cards if they wished. Here's my list:

My dream of having a nuclear family
Self-doubt
My ex-husband
Inattentiveness
Mother Guilt
Inertia
Insecurity
My CONTROL ISSUES

Next we stood around a blue kiddie pool filled with water. Lit candles floated on the surface. Each person read. Here is my list:

Motherhood
My neighbors and our porch parties
Acupuncture school
My family
My sweet house
Buddha
FREEDOM

It was beautiful, moving, and a little silly. I love ritual. I love my friends.

We laughed about how the kids will remember this night. Adults standing around catching things on fire, using the kiddie pool to put trash in. When they confront us will we pass them $100 and say talk to your therapist about it? Maybe, if it is a good day, we'll get out the pool, light up the grill, hand 'em some note cards, and teach them to free themselves.