Taking it like a woman is being wise, accepting, strong, and honest. Knowing when to hold your tongue and not falling apart.
This week I'm gonna have to take it like a woman. It's gonna be a long week. Yesterday my man looked over at me and said, I got a call from Georgia and we're getting together on Sunday. Sunday, my day to be with my man. He said he was surprised by the feelings that came up when he talked to her. He doesn't know what's going to happen on Sunday so he felt like I should know. He doesn't want to hurt me, he doesn't want to lie. I took it like a woman, gave him my blessing. Inside I took it like a little girl and made plans to kick her ass. Shit.
Georgia is my man's one true love who did him wrong ten years ago. He told me last week he didn't want to talk to her when he found out she might call him. Using the wise and not needy part of my being I said, "I think it might be good for you two to talk. Seems like you have some stuff to work out." No worries, he didn't want to talk to her anyway...until she called, and he realized he did want to talk to her, and now I'm taking it like a woman.
After the bomb was dropped I said, "Well, I think it's good. I think you need to figure this out. I'm not going to give you shit about it, I understand it." And I do. When I contacted my first husband after 8 years of silence I remembered why we were married. I concocted all these fantasies of wrong place, wrong time and meant to be romance, but then we hung out a few times and I remembered why we aren't married anymore. He is an amazing friend and that works for us. We're relieved we've work it out.
I couldn't sleep last night because I was preparing for the end. Georgia is super model gorgeous. Me and my man laugh that I'm a furry wombat. He calls me cute. It's like Janeane Garofalo and Uma Thurman in The Truth About Cats and Dogs, (though Georgia is more like badass Uma in Kill Bill). Unfortunately this isn't a movie and in my experience the super model always wins.
Sigh. I'm gonna take it like a woman. I've asked for two things from my man 1.) Tell me sooner rather than later if there is a connection that they plan to investigate, 2.) Be extra sweet to me this week, because though I'm trying not to freak out, I'm gonna be thinking about it.
Good man that he is, I know that both those requests will be granted. He's already started being very reassuring, but what can you do when you've got unfinished business with someone? You gotta finish it. The worst part for me is that though I am not in love, I don't want to be done with this man yet. The good part is being single makes my life easier time and gives me more time for me. I can be at peace single or with someone, thank the Buddhas.
The funniest thing is that I refuse to stay in the moment. I've got seven more days of this rambling in my head. This crazy vacillating between woman and girl. Brave and scared. Accepting and reacting. Being wise and stupid. Samsara, samsara, samsara.
Time to hit the cushion and meditate. Time to go inward and find a little peace and truth. One thing I already know is true, everything is temporary whether you take it like a woman or not.