Last night Queenpin cooked for two of her best gifts from my marriage. Along with my beasties, I have been blessed with two stepkids, and now a step-grandbaby. Last night I cooked a big ole' lasagna for us, with yummy bread, and easy salad and I remembered that I love to cook for people.
Queenpin in the kitchen has been a struggle since my wusband left. Since a good Queenpin delegates any tasks she doesn't relish I have been taking food shortcuts. We eat out, we eat breakfast for dinner, we open a box of mac and cheese (organic, of course).
Food and I have been in a fight lately. Food has become a struggle. Food has taken on a whole new meaning trying to feed two small beasties whose tastes shrink by the day. My two little ones don't appreciate a good hot meal of kale and pasta. Last night while the kids played and I cooked, I remembered the excitement and joy I would get out of cooking a big meal for my family. I used to love family dinners, now I dread them.
There are so many facets to this food thing I don't even know where to begin. Food started to become my enemy while trying to figure out how to conscientiously feed two growing kids. We are meat eaters, but how to find and afford conscientiously raised animals to eat takes time, work, and money. Finding vegetables that are organic, and raised right, that takes work, time, and money. Figuring out what the kids will eat takes time, work, and some sort of extra sensory perception that I do not possess. Sitting down and eating with a seven year old and a four year old, holy shit, that takes the patience of Job. I'm exhausted just writing about it. Really, I just had to take a break from writing because I was so tired out by the thought of cooking.
In between luscious novels I am reading Geneen Roth's book Women, Food, and God. It is all about food as a reflection of our lives, how we feel about our place in the universe, and how we feel about ourselves. That means that the Queenpin is a quickly thrown together meal, with no substance, little attention to detail, and some resentment on the side. That sounds about right. Feeding myself is one thing, but when I have to take into account my beasties it throws in a whole other aspect that I am still attempting to analyze.
My goal this month is to find things to cook and eat with my kids and to make our meals enjoyable, healthy, and yummy!!! WE WILL HAVE A NICE FUCKING DINNER AND ENJOY EACH OTHER, or else.
I struggle with cooking almost every moment of my day. My husband, not my son, is the picky eater, and although he's come a long way in our eight years together to try new things, he can still make that "rat turd on a toothpick" face faster than anyone I know! I struggle, too, because there are foods that I like to eat that I shouldn't, and when I'm tired it's just so much easier to reach for what's easy than for what is good for me. Thanks for writing this one!
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