Monday, July 4, 2011

Steel Magnolias

I don't know how I would make it without women in my life. You may be sick of the Queenpin going on and on about women, but I love them, and I am so grateful for them. They make me and the beasties' lives extra juicy.

My organization is a tight knit one, and there are men involved, but I have to admit, the men are on the fringes. The Don would say that they are "associates"in this organization. Sometimes for my boy, I worry about this, but mostly I just thank the universe and the Buddhas and anyone else around for all the estrogen that boosts us up and carries us around.

I love women so much that once, in my mid-twenties I decided to be a lesbian for a few weeks, but without even experiencing woman's kiss, I realized that lesbianism was not what I was missing, and had to give it up. My dad was so disappointed, he thought finally I would bring home a nice girl with a job and a college degree. Sorry dad.

Not only do I have amazing women in my neighborhood, but I have friends outside the hood that lift me up, make me laugh, and get down and dirty with me when I need it. If one friend is too busy to call back I have a long list of others that I call leave messages with until someone picks up the damn phone. I also have an amazing mother and sister who listen, accept, and tell me the truth when I need it (but don't necessarily want to hear it).

I have a friend who is just learning about the amazingness of women. When she was going through a hard time I made sure to make time to listen to her, I sent her texts, I had she & her kids to dinner. She said thank you so many times it started to sound like nonsense, and I kept having to reassure her that this is what women do for each other. This is what women have done for me, and this is what I try to do for others.

When she was over for dinner, my new friend and I talked about the difference between how men and women handle problems. In my experience with men, they love to fix it for you and when they can't they feel powerless and sometimes that makes them move away mentally and sometimes physically. Women, sometimes they try to fix it, but mostly they listen, they sit with you, they rail with you, they laugh with you, they cook for you. They are not afraid of being around pain. They can take it, just like their mama's did, just like her mama before that.

I love the term steel magnolias. That's what the women are in my life. Strong, smart, fun and beautiful, real earth mama beauties. Soul sistah, beauties. The kind of women that when you see them at a party they draw you in because they radiate something good.

These are a few of the things that my ladies have done for me:
*For my birthday the ladies all wore fake hamsters in their hair, after I had had an especially embarrassing incident involving a grown up dinner party, my beasties, and I ZuZu pet in my hair.

*One friend helped me sort through my old house that was being foreclosed on so I could move me
and the beasties to a much smaller rental house. It was boring as hell and she just sat and sorted and chatted like my life was not in ruins around me and by doing that I felt normal for a bit.

*My soul sistahs listen and do not judge my endless break-up and make-ups with my man. They pour me wine and hear me whine. I have one friend who asks, "Do you want me to be cheerleader friend, or real friend?" Most of the time I go for the cheerleader.

*The cheerleader friend hosted a fire and water party where we burned things we wanted to let go of and floated things we wanted to keep. It was soul cleaning.

*Once the ladies put an plastic turkey in my bed when I was out of town. He was such a good listener I almost didn't let him go, but eventually, I put it back on the friend's porch with a cigarette, negligee, and bottle of liquor. I'm sure that will not be the last I see of that turkey.

*One friend leaves secret notes all over my house & in my classroom. Notes of love and support and reminders of who I am. About once a month I'll be flipping through my calendar and find something sweet she's written. I just got a new calendar, I'm going to have to leave it where she can find it.

The women in my life make my world go round. Sometimes new ones come in and old ones go out, but there is always a sea of estrogen around me. We I sink they pull me up, when I float they cheer me on. They are the life raft that gives me and my beasties enough courage to sail the open seas and set out on new adventures.

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