Sunday, December 23, 2012

It's Raining Men

It is. It is raining men, but not the way you'd think. Not in the purrr, growl way that phrase has been used before. In my life it's raining bad ass, beautifully souled men who are showing me who I want in my life, and what kind of man my son can become. It's so amazing, and a little bitter sweet. I'm single and surrounded by great men, sometimes I get a little lonely, and sometimes I think, nah, if I went on a date then I'd have to shave my legs. That is a sure sign that dating may need to be put on hold for a bit.

I had a party last night, and after everyone was gone, Joe Cool, (a man I went out on a date with who just wasn't that into me) and I sat and talked for awhile. We sat and talked about writing, about art, somehow religion and facebook crept in there too. He left with a hug and a goodnight and it was perfect. I just love men. I don't always understand them, but I love them. I get something from having men friends that I don't get from women. With my women friends I talk about my inner self, mothering, my feelings, with men I talk about the larger world.

I have always had good men in my life. My dad was a great man, a kind man, a smart, and funny man. My brother is the same. For the most part my brother and I don't speak unless we see each other over vacations or holidays, but I just love him, and he loves me. He is like my dad, smart, kind, a lover of women, but not in that over the top, creepy way. He tells me like it is, and I really appreciate that. Over Thanksgiving we were laughing about my rebellious spirit, and he said that spirit was good, and he understood it, "...but you may find yourself one day, all alone, living in a basement." Don't you just love the straight forwardness of a man? I have very few girlfriends that would say that to me (Savior Single Mama would say it in a heart beat.)

When I was in my teens I ran with such a great pack of boys. I'm still in touch with one of them and our love for each other is simple and runs deep. When an older boy grabbed my boobs and then threatened me if I told anyone, my good friend stood up for me and threatened to kick his ass. For a 10 year old that was chivalry. Actually, at 38, it still is. We also grieved through a friend shooting himself. It sealed the deal. Friends for life.

In my early 20's I found myself surrounded by a great pack of young men, smart, fun, respecters of women. I am a man's woman. I have been known to be a little loud and raunchy, I have been known to be brass, and crass. It is my armor and I think that resonates with men.  They understand that armor, the need to be tough on the outside to protect what is within. That's one of the things that makes me a good girl friend for a guy, but not always a good girlfriend.

I went through many years of my life being surrounded by great men, yet still harboring fear and mistrust of them. To have a man love me meant I had to be the victim of him, or he of me. Dating was drama, drama, drama. I don't know what caused that in me. Our culture? My tendency to dramatics?

When I got married to the wuzband (thank you Rent-a-Husband for spelling suggestion) I dropped a lot of my male friends. I was focusing on family, I also worked with mostly women, and I was respecting my wuzband's wariness of my male friends. During that time full of child-bearing and creating a home I needed to focus on building amazonian web of women.

When I got divorced from wuzband #2 I realized that my life was full of women and there were very few men. I missed them. The past year has been all about me reconnecting to that. I have my Rent-a-Husband who does things around the house for me, and teaches me how to do things. I have my first wuzband, A Metal Soul, who nourishes my creative self, reminds me who I am, and inspires me to think of what I can become. I have Joe Cool, who I just love to talk to about the creative process (that cat is on fire!). I work for a great young man. A true Renaissance man. Don't even get me started on the contractors I work with. Hahaha Southern men at their best.

When I'm at acupuncture school, oh my, the great men. All smart, hilarious, and soulful. I have learned so much about the larger world from them. I have learned what kind of man my son has the possibility of becoming and some tips on how to shape that.
From all of these men I've not only learn about mothering my boy, but I'm learning about myself. I've seen myself through their eyes and it has caused some self-reflection, and even more importantly a lot of self-acceptance. I like myself a lot when I see myself through their eyes.

It's not all perfect in this world of men. I have to admit that sometimes the sexual tension between me and some of my boys leaves me with emotional blue balls. This longing for a partner. However, with each of my guy friends I am like Goldilocks thinking, "Almost, but not quite." and that is when I start thinking like my friend, The Evolved Man, and head into another dimension where I could build the perfect mate. But, sigh, that is not reality, so I continue to work on learning from these amazing men, and being the perfect mate for myself, furry legs and all.


  1. Wouldn't it be nice to just be able to create the perfect man partner?! Ah well....atleast we don't have to shave lol. Maybe for now it's just nice to have the companionship of all these great men taking a little from each of them (and then going home to relieve the sexual blue ball tension with a trusted adult toy! haha)