Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I Know the Sky Is Blue, Damn It

Well, it's finally happened. Someone emailed the wusband my blog. He texted me yesterday with details about picking up the kids and ended it with "PS....I never slept with anyone when we were together" I replied, "I don't believe you, but glad you're reading my blog". I am trying to grow my readership, any new hits on my site help. The wusband also told me that for months people had been coming up to him to tell him that I was writing a blog about him.

We proceeded to text back and forth and talk about something we had never talked about before, the fact that I always assumed he cheated. He denied it, and I began to feel soothed and trusting. Maybe my gut was wrong, maybe he didn't cheat. Maybe those 96 texts messages to his newly divorced client were totally innocent, maybe those pictures of that woman on our computer were just a mistake, maybe the fact that he consistently stayed out past one a.m. toward the end of our marriage was really him just hanging out with the guys. 

And this is the way it has always been with him and me. I want to believe the best about him, plus he is a charmer. I know the sky is blue, but after talking to him I see it as red. 

When we were married we would argue and I would know that my point was valid (You actually need to earn money to spend it, honey), and I would leave the situation totally spun around on my ass (Sure the bank account says negative $200.00 but we can go on vacation, sweetie. And yes, that sky is a lovely shade of red.). That's how I felt yesterday after our text-a-thon. It was going very well for him until he said, "I didn't meet (current girlfriend) until 9 months after you and I split." And then I cracked up laughing and replied, "That's funny, you told me about her 5 months after we split." and I thought, "You moved in with her a few weeks later". Ding-ding-ding my snake-o-meter went off the charts and the sky seemed bright blue. 

In the end the wusband and I ended our conversation with an agreement that it didn't matter what happened, because it's over. And that is the truth. What we have left between us is two beautiful beasties,  two great step-kids, and one adorable step grand baby, but any love has been lost, any intimacy has been beaten to dust. Any truths from our marriage were left on the steps of our old house. We both interpret our relationship from our own experience, and believe me, that is very different. My sky is large and blue and never ending. With silver lined clouds and angels flying interference. His is....well, I don't even know because our airspaces never meet. 

I do have a message to the people that have been telling the wusband that this blog is about him: This blog is about the Sassy Queenpin Mama, and that's me. If you're gonna feed someone's ego, please make sure it's the right one. 

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