Believe it or not, I like to believe the best about people. I have created a surprisingly sheltered life where almost all of the time I am treated with respect and I am surrounded by giving, kind people. Maybe that's why it always amazes me when people suck. It amazes me when I find someone I cannot give the benefit of the doubt and I just have to accept that person sucks.
Married men who hook up with single mamas are in that category for me. They suck. When I was first single a man came to view my house which was slowly sinking into the ground. The house was on the way to foreclosure but he thought he might save the day and buy it. This man and I flirted, we exchanged numbers, we started talking for hours on the phone. There was a timing issue with him. He could only talk certain times, he often called from work, not at night. After a few little warning bells I was forced to ask, "Are you married?" Oh, the excuses, the sad tales of marriage woes. The evil wife who kept this poor man locked in a tower. Sheesh, don't call me again jackass. I was outraged.
Recently Sassy Single Mama dated a man for a few months. He was great; smart, similar interests, funny, in the same field of work. She was excited about the possibilities. She invested herself, and that is a big deal for a single mama. With all of that good stuff though, she noticed this timing thing. He had very specific times he was available and then he would drop out of contact for days at a time. Hmmmm. She disentangled from him and started to let him go, until one day when she was a little bored. Boredom can create curiosity and you know what curiosity did to that damn cat. (I was going to make a pussy reference here that would have been hilarious, but then I felt it was too vulgar, so I'm moving on).
Boredom creates Googlemania and the Google search she did returned very interesting results. The man she dated, (who from now on will be referred to as Rat Bastard), had his own page.
A page with a picture of Rat Bastard and his wife, a bio on his children, and a call out to Christians who wanted to come to he and his wife's marriage counseling workshops. That mother fucker. That suffering Rat Bastard. And I do have to say suffering in regard to him because I know that someone who does that is rotting from the inside out, but they still suck.
That is the thing about people who suck, they take all that suckiness and they spew it on you. They leave you with a bag of suckiness to hold. Here is Sassy Single Mama holding a bag of suck. What to do with it? Write to the wife? Have a fire and water ceremony to cleanse her soul? People who suck deserve compassion for their suffering, but they cause outrage with their carelessness.
WWtDD? What would the Don do? I think the Don would turn the other cheek and accept that this was the way of men. But the Queenpin doesn't accept this. I know many wonderful men who do not cheat. Who far from suck. Single Sassy Mama and I laughed this morning imagining ourselves as a gangster mamas who go and teach the Rat Bastard a lesson, but to what avail? In my experience with people that suck they rarely change. A baseball bat wielding, fedora wearing Queenpin and her Sassy Mama friend would not change who he is, only give him a reason to illicit sympathy, and that would make this situation all the more disgusting.
In the end, when dealing with people that suck I find what works for me is to bitch, bitch, bitch about them, and then pray. Really. I know it sounds hokey, but somehow it changes how I feel about them and in the end that's the only thing I can change. I imagine a thousand blessings raining down from the heavens and covering that suffering soul. For a moment, I will feel peace. Then I imagine taking a large kitchen knife and shoving it in their eye socket, and then I feel satisfied and smug. It is my Buddhist/ Mob Mama compromise when dealing with people that suck. And it's much safer than dealing with rat poison.